PsychologyToday: Should Marriage Be Abolished…?

The too-brief version of some of these arguments is as follows:

“…morally salient features commonly attributed to marriage [include] promise, commitment, basic human goods, virtues, and care.” But marriage should be de-moralized: “Marriage is neither necessary nor sufficient for the goods often associated with it, it creates no sui generis moral status, and it produces harms and injustices that must be weighed against its goods. While there may be special goods in caring relationships, they do not depend on marriage — and indeed, the special value attributed to marriage has penalized caring relationships that fail to meet the marital norm.”

Continue Reading via Should Marriage Be Abolished, Minimized, or Left Alone? | Psychology Today.

My thoughts on this are too long and undisciplined, unfocused, but despite feeling like I would disagree on just about everything in it, I still want to read the book.

Psychology Today: 5 Reasons You Can’t Tell…

I would love to be put to the test. As the quote below mentions there are people who have a mistrusting bias and I believe I’m definitely one of those people. I know I would love to be part of these type of studies, where do these studies and research occur? Why is it I never hear of any of it. No one ever calls my house, no one ever knocks on my door, no one ever emails me, or anything. How can one be part of these studies?

Research shows that we have a sort of “default” mechanism that makes us tend to believe that most people are telling the truth. Even in studies where participants are told that half of the people are lying, they judge the majority of them as honest. [This holds unless you are a police officer, customs agent, or work for the Secret Service — they tend to have a mis-trusting bias default.]

Continue reading via 5 Reasons You Can’t Tell When You Are Being Lied To | Psychology Today.

The Worst Idea in the World | Psychology Today

The Worst Idea in the World | Psychology Today.

I’m not fond that the overall tone of the article has kind of a condescending attitude, but for the most part I would lean towards agreement. I don’t think it’s healthy to have a 6 year old breastfeeding as that lady on the front of some US magazine exampled. I do agree that the idea of good parenting is to provide a place to your children where they feel safe and do not feel harmed; a safe zone in this world of constant suffering and deception. I do not believe your kids should ever have to question whether or not you are lying to them or if you like hurting them or wonder whether or not you love them.

Your home, again, I believe should be a safe zone. So in that regards, yes. I agree with the overall theme of the article, that your kids must feel safe enough at home and in particular with you that they can explore to (and not beyond) their boundaries and come back to a safe place, but there is more that goes into it.

Education is one thing that your kids should be getting from you, you should be explaining the world to your children, showing them how it operates, helping them to navigate the world, exposing them to the differences in the world from when you grew up and the way it is now. If you don’t give a child exposure to history, especially your own personal history how can you expect them to learn from your mistakes. How can they understand why they should trust you? If you lie to them or don’t explain to them, why would they trust you over other influences? If they can’t trust you, you can cultivate a lack of trust in authority.

One thing I don’t agree with is that you can expect your kids to simply form and maintain attachment with you from a simple touch or so-called “loving” touch. If that is all your kids get from you that is what they may see love as, and if that’s what love is your children may be in for some problems. If love for you children is unconsciously or consciously defined as a loving gaze or affectionate touch, then your children will potentially be very easy to manipulate. You must show love is more than a touch or a gaze.

What is love?

• one example
• another example
• third example