Use “I” rather than “you”. For example, say “I feel angry,” rather than, “you make me angry.” This wording helps to minimize your friend’s defensiveness and keeps the focus on solving the problem as a team rather than suggesting that it is entirely your friend’s responsibility to fix it. This is an especially important guideline; it conveys that you are not out to blame your friend for how you are feeling. Using I rather than you implies that you have not jumped to any conclusions, that you are open to exploring the possibilities for why you feel the way you do, and that you want to resolve the trouble with your friend.
- pg. 113, When Someone You Love Is Depressed – Laura Rosen & Xavier Amador, ISBN 978-0-684-83407-8