Some of my reluctance, no doubt, stemmed from a fundamental denial that what I had was real disease. This is a common reaction that follows, rather counter-intuitively, in the wake of early episodes of manic-depressive illness. Moods are such an essential part of the substance of life, of one’s notions of oneself, that even psychotic extremes in mood and behavior somehow can be seen as temporary, even understandable, reactions to what life has dealt. In my case, I had a horrible sense of loss for who I had been and where I had been. It was difficult to give up the high flights of mind and mood, even though the depressions that inevitably followed nearly cost me my life.
- Pg. 91, An Unquiet Mind, ISBN – 978-0-679-76330-7, Kay Redfield Jamison