I’ve been reading C.S. Lewis’ “Mere Christianity” (Harper Collins 2001) and on page 188 he states “there is also a good kind (of pretending), where the pretense leads up to the real thing”. There was plenty of things I had agreed with and a lot to ponder in his book but I believe this may have been the part where I realized that I had some real disagreements with C.S. Lewis as well.
C.S. Lewis goes on to say…
“When you are not feeling particularly friendly but you know you ought to be, the best thing you can do, very often, is to put on a friendly manner and behave as if you were nicer person that you actually are. And in a few minutes, as we have all noticed, you will be really feeling friendlier than you were.”
I don’t know truthfully about others but I know for me, this theory is utter nonsense. I have worked in customer service for almost 12 years now. At this present job I have about 50 C.I. (customer interactions) in a day. My last job I averaged about 90 C.I. a day, the job before that would be about 50 a day, and my first day was easily 60-90 C.I. a day. So working out by crude math and low balling, of the 365 days in a year I would have worked on average 261 days (even though I’ve done tons of overtime), and using an average of only 50 C.I. a day I estimate an annual interaction with no less than 13,050 people.
I have never been a social person and for all of my working life I have pretty much dealt with the way I feel as opposed to what companies wants and customers want. I’ve had approximately 156,000 chances to fake it and let’s once again low ball and say I’ve only faked it half of the time. That is still almost 12 years and 78,000 faking it attempts, which I have never felt any nicer, if anything I would say it has made things worse. It would be absolutely stupid and foolish to think I must wait or try harder.
I say he who fakes it makes their life more tiring. Yet, I must admit that you do learn quite a lesson in customer service, which is to fight and overcome your feelings, but that lesson for me has not been worth these 12 years of torture. I believe your best bet is to be real. In being real you may learn there are time times to put yourself on mute, and times to let a person’s act go and not retaliate.
“Faking it” is a lie and yes, lies sometimes become so entrenched in a person’s mind that the lie seems like truth, but that does not make it true. Unfortunately I can’t even really bring any bible verses to mind to help support my stance, because I thought for a moment that one of the 10 commandments was “thou shalt not lie”, but it’s not. Then I wondered about people in the bible, but I can’t even use the ones I can think of because a lot of “righteous” men lied plenty in the pages of the bible. I know some of you are skeptics and will doubt that, but if you check out my posts called “Contradictions Of The Bible” or even check out some of (I guess you could call it) my bible commentary on specific verses you will see what I mean. Over all, you don’t have to take my word for it, take the word of the bible.